Jack Bauer and His Man Bag--Remember That? (Best of the Old Riddleblog # 5)
From June 30, 2006
OK. I admit it. I love "24." I don't get to watch it on TV, but do enjoy it on DVD when I can watch more than one episode at a time.
If you are a 24 fan, you are probably aware of all the Jack Bauer jokes making their way around the internet.
More than likely, you've also seen the discussion about Jack's "man bag," (as seen in the picture). Some have used this to challenge Jack's legendary toughness. "If Jack Bauer is so tough, why does he carry a purse?" His defenders reply, "That's not a purse, its a sack of whoop-ass!"
In the bag, Bauer carries his handgun, numerous magazines (he seems to have an unlimited supply for any gun and caliber he happens to be using), his cell (which always has four bars--who is his provider?), and his trusty PDA which keeps him connected to Chloe and others back at CTU.
But for once, I am on the cusp of male fashion! I have carried a "man bag" for years--my trusty leather satchel. While I keep my Glock and extra mags at home under lock and key, I too, am fully prepared for any contingency.
I have my emergency meds (eucalyptus cough drops, sinus stuff, aspirin, and Immodium--whether they admit or not, every preacher's greatest fear is that "Immodium moment" when you are in front of a congregation). I also have my weapons: my Bible, the Ecumenical Creeds and Reformed Confessions, a copy of the church order, and whatever book I may need depending upon my current assignment (i.e. Louis Berkhof's Systematic Theology, Horton's book God of Promise). I also have support materials, such as business cards, dry erase markers (you never know when you'll need them), and a tin of altoids. I am fully prepared for any contingency.
But are others as well prepared? What does Rick Warren carry in his "man bag"? What about an emergent church pastor? What does he (or she) carry around? What about an Arminian or a dispensationalist?
Any thoughts?
Update:
I haven’t heard a Jack Bauer (or a Chuck Norris) joke for a while. How quickly these cultural icons come and go . . . I’ll bet there are people reading this who have no idea of who or what I’m talking about. But for a couple of seasons in the mid 2000s, “24” and Jack Bauer were a big deal
My leather satchel has been replaced by a lighter, TSA friendly, nylon laptop case. With Logos Bible Software and the ESV loaded on my Android phone (no PDA or flip-phone any more), I don’t carry a heavy ESV Study Bible. My emergency meds are pretty much the same, but I’ve added a spare covid mask or two, and ear buds for listening to music or podcasts. No more dry-erase markers—one got crushed and left my satchel full of blue ink.
The comments to the original post were hilarious:
Here are a few . . .
I'm not a dispensationalist, but I believe I have good reason to suspect they've had at least five previous man-bags -- from the man-bag they purchased in their original state of innocence to the man-bag cut out of stone -- are currently on their sixth man-bag graciously bestowed upon them by the Great Fabric Weaver, yet still await the consummate man-bag, the most glorious man-bag of all man-bags ever seen on earth, which will be able to be carried for a literal 1,000 years!
Bauer's man-bag is just another, more cool version of George [Costanza]'s wallet...I have neither, just a messy car.
Since no one has yet speculated on the contents of Rick Warren's man bag, allow me: First of all it would have to be a gigantic bag - big enough to carry at least 132 different Bible translations. I assume he would also have a few spare Hawaiian shirts. I've also heard a rumor that Joel Osteen is releasing his own line of man bags - "Your Best Man Bag Now."