A Funeral for My Friend
Chatting with my buddy, Ron.
My dear friend Ron recently died in Christ. Ron was one of those guys who was rather unassuming but everyone seemed to know him and he had many friends. I first met him way back when Christians United for Reformation (CURE) held their Friday night “Academy” lectures in Orange County, around the time the White Horse Inn first went on the air. He was there every week.
Once the White Horse Inn hit the airwaves in the LA area, Ron probably listened to every episode. He bought cassette tapes of everything CURE did, passed them out to friends, and then bought more.
When Christ Reformed Church was in the planning stages, Ron was there, at every meeting, probably the most excited person in the room to see things get up and going. He was there when Christ Reformed held its trial run services in Mike Horton’s living room. He was there the first Sunday we held “official” worship services.
He seemed to be there every Sunday, for every Bible Study and Academy. He always had insightful questions, appreciated the lessons, and expressed gratitude for what the doctrines of grace, law and gospel, and the Heidelberg Catechism had done to change his life and grant him assurance. He’d often tell me with a glint of excitement, “God is so good!”
Twenty-five plus years later, Ron was still at Christ Reformed Church every Sunday, though he was now past 80 and in failing health. He was still a working veterinarian, ensured his family came to church, still loving the gospel, still expressing the joy of his salvation.
When Ron died, it was a privilege and an honor to conduct his graveside service, knowing full well that if anyone lived a life in anticipation of that moment, it was Ron.
Every healthy, vital, and faithful Reformed church has a cadre of men and women just like him. If your church doesn’t have any, pray that God will send them. If your church has a few, pray that God will send more! They are faithful servants, they love God’s word and all they want or ask is that you preach the gospel to them every week. These folk never let you lose sight of what a church is, and what it is supposed to be doing.
And yes, I will miss my friend.
Below, is the text of my funeral sermon given at his recent memorial service:
Prayer of Invocation—
O Lord, when the death of one we love comes, we are thankful that we can turn to you for comfort and mercy. We know that due to our sin, death haunts us, and barring your dear Son’s return, we too will experience what our dear brother Ron already has–the curse and sting of death.
Yet, in the gospel you so graciously have revealed to us, we know that Jesus has conquered death and the grave, we know that through his merits, our sins are forgiven and we are reckoned righteous before you. We know that all this comes to us through faith in your dear son, our Lord and Savior Jesus.
Therefore thank you that we are not without hope, nor are we left to wonder about the fate of our dear brother. We know that even now he beholds the face of the Savior, and that he has seen things we can not yet understand.
So on this day, we cling to these wonderful promises, we have the greatest of hope since your Son has triumphed over death and the grave, and we have the sweetest of comfort–knowing that you are with us during our times of trial and grief.
All of this comes to us through the merits and intercession of your dear Son, in and through the power of blessed Holy Spirit.
We offer to you our feeble sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving in the name of whom they are accepted, our blessed Lord Jesus.
Amen
The Reading of John 11:1-44—
Words of Comfort and Hope—
I have known Ron Flores for more than 30 years. One of my first hospital visits came when Ron experienced life-threatening complications from coronary bypass surgery. In case he would not make it, Ron asked me to do his funeral and preach the gospel. 30 years later, here we are.
In the Reformed tradition it has been customary to pray for the sick and dying, that they would die a “good death.” This means dying peacefully without great pain and suffering, that the dying would have great assurance of salvation until taking their last breath, and that some how and in some way, God would turn their circumstances to good. By this measure Ron Flores died a good death. He was with his family, he ate his dinner, took a nap, and woke up in heaven. That is a good death, and for this, Lord Jesus, we give you thanks.
When we face the death of someone that we love, we realize that platitudes and kind words–as sincere as they may be–do not answer our difficult questions, nor can they ease the heart-wrenching pain of grief. Sending good thoughts and vapid prayers to the grieving (despite the best of motives) is a waste of time. On a day like today, Hallmark doesn’t have the words we need. God’s word does. When death comes, we need a gospel, a gospel which Ron loved and upon which he counted, and which he wanted all of his friends and families to embrace.
Even though we must face the awful fact of Ron’s death, because of the saving merits of Jesus Christ, we also know the hope of eternal life. Through faith, we claim God’s glorious promise of a day of resurrection yet to come–a day when God will raise all of those who have died in Christ. Since our Lord has conquered death and the grave, and we are united to him in faith, we take comfort when the apostle Paul tells us that death has been swallowed up in victory. As we speak, we know that our brother is in the presence of the Lord–beholding what was only a dim imagination before. Ron has been released from his sins, from all his struggles, from all suffering, and from all the sadness and encumbrances of life. As the apostle John tells us in the Book Revelation, the Lord has already wiped every tear from Ron’s eyes, even as he will wipe away the tears of those who mourn this day.
This is why when death comes, we know that our comfort in life and in death cannot be based upon good works, or our character or spirituality, or any religious ceremonies we may perform. Our only comfort is based on what Jesus Christ has already done for us in his life and death. As our Lord has died and risen again, so too, God has promised us that on that great day of judgment, Ron Flores will rise bodily from the place where we buried him when our Lord returns in unspeakable glory to raise the dead, judge the world, and make all things new.
Until that day comes, all those who have died in Christ surround the throne of God and the glassy sea, clear as crystal, awaiting that day when Jesus returns, a day in which the sky will roll up as a scroll and our Lord will return in glory with all his angels. When he returns, the Scripture says, we shall all be like him in the glories of his resurrection. This is the blessed hope in which we must rest, when today we our feel loss and miss our friend.
As we turn to Scripture for answers and comfort, I would like us to reflect upon chapter 11 of John’s gospel, wherein we heard the amazing account of the death of Lazarus, a dear friend of our Lord Jesus. This account of our Lord’s raising of Lazarus is comforting to us in three respects.
First, the fact that our Lord shows absolute power over death demonstrates that Jesus has the power to do all he has promised. Only God in human flesh can call forth life where there is death. As Jesus told Lazarus’ sister Martha, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live (v. 25).” Earlier in Jesus’s ministry [John 5:24-25], he told his disciples, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. Truly, truly, I say to you, an hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.”
There are really two resurrections for those who trust in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. The first resurrection–a “spiritual” resurrection–occurs when one trusts in Christ. Our Lord himself tells us that whoever believes in him has already crossed over from death to life at that very moment. The bible calls this the “new birth,” or being born again. Faith arises in our hearts. The guilt of our many sins has been forgiven and God gives to us the perfect righteousness of Christ through faith alone. The Holy Spirit makes us alive in Christ when we had been dead in sin (Ephesians 2:5). The Holy Spirit living within us also becomes the guarantee of the resurrection of our bodies at the end of the age (Ephesians 1:13-14).
But there is also a second, comforting theme in this account, the promise of a bodily resurrection as well. The raising of Lazarus from the dead by our Lord points ahead to Christ's own resurrection and ascension into heaven. In the account of our Lord raising Lazarus, the focus is upon the restoration of life, when, as a result of sin and weakness Lazarus became sick and died. Lazarus experienced what Ron has already experienced—the horrible separation of soul from body, what the Bible calls the curse, or the wages of sin, which is death. Lest we think we are immune, let no one leave here without carefully considering the reality that what Ron has already experienced, we too will all experience, the sting of death. Death is as inevitable for us as it was for Ron. As the philosopher-song writer once put it, “nobody gets out of here alive.”
By bringing Lazarus back from the dead with but a single command– “Lazarus, come out!” Jesus gives us a picture of what lies ahead at the end of time. Jesus will rise again from the dead three days after his own death. His bodily resurrection and ascension into heaven, guarantees our own resurrection and eternal life on the day of judgment (cf. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 ff; 1 Corinthians 15:12-58). One day Jesus will again say to the dead, “come out,” and we will! But unlike Lazarus, who died a second time, we will be raised imperishable, like our Lord.
There is a third thing in this passage when we see how Jesus reacted to the news of the death of Lazarus, his dear friend. The gospels give us several accounts of the various emotions displayed by our Lord during his ministry. They describe Jesus’ compassion for people (Matthew 20:34; Mark 1:41 and Luke 7:13), and his deep sorrow at the death of his friend. We read that Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem because his people would not believe and we are told that he “deeply sighed” at the plight of a deaf man (Mark 7:34). Even though Jesus is God veiled in human flesh–and he entered into a world of those who had rebelled against him and continue to do so–time and time again, we see Jesus’ genuine love for others. We are repeatedly told throughout John's gospel that Jesus had friends whom he loved (John 15:13), people whose company he greatly enjoyed (11:19). We are told that Jesus loved his disciples and considered them the closest of friends (John 13:2). Jesus’ emotions are, perhaps, more than any thing else, the clearest picture we have of his true human nature. And there is no more vivid picture of the emotions of our Lord than that captured in the eleventh chapter of John's gospel.
In John 11, John reports how Jesus loved Lazarus (v. 3) and his two sisters, Mary and Martha (v. 5). These people were dear friends. Jesus was concerned enough about his friends that he stayed with Lazarus' sisters for two additional days. But Jesus knew that Lazarus would die. As he told his disciples, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him (v. 11).” The disciples misunderstood what Jesus had told them. They were thinking that Jesus was referring to the fact that if only Lazarus could get some rest, he would recover. But Jesus knew the awful truth. “Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”(v. 14-15). By the time Jesus had arrived back in Bethany, Lazarus had been dead and buried for four days.
It is Jesus’ reaction to the death of his friend that is important for us to understand as we grieve the loss of a grandfather, dad, and friend. John tells us that “When Jesus saw [Mary] weeping . . . he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.” Jesus wept along with her.
Most people know that John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the bible. “Jesus wept.” What most people don’t know is the force of this in the original language is much, much stronger. Our Lord Jesus did not merely weep, John says he cried out in anger! In fact, Jesus literally raged in anger. But why would Jesus be so outraged at death? As one writer tells us: “Because Jesus’ friend has died and death itself is the object of his wrath, and behind death, Jesus rages against him who has the power of death, and whom Jesus has come into the world to destroy—that is Satan. Tears of sympathy may fill Jesus’ eyes, but he is angry at death and he advances to Lazarus’ tomb...`as a champion who prepares for conflict’ to call him forth from death to life. The raising of Lazarus is a picture of Jesus' complete triumph over death and hell. In this the story of Jesus and Lazarus, we see the very heart of Jesus, as he wins for us our salvation. He does not do this in cold unconcern, but in anger he wages war against our greatest enemy—which is death.” [Paraphrased from B. B. Warfield, “The Emotional Life of Our Lord”].
When we see how Jesus reacted to the death of his friend Lazarus, how he wept at the very sight of the grave, how angry he was at death itself, we can all draw comfort because Jesus himself sanctifies the grieving process. Jesus didn’t stop and throw a party to celebrate Lazarus’ life. No, our Lord wept at the death of his friend and raged at what sin had done to human race. There is a time for mourning . . . Jesus tells us so . . . Jesus shows us that it is OK to grieve, even though we have the hope of the resurrection.
More importantly, the very one who raged against death is the same one who has the power to forever undo its awful consequences. Our hope is in our Lord’s promise that “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.” When we see how the Son of God reacted to death, and how he triumphed over it, we need not fear death or the grave. Ron already knows this triumph and he now lives forever, because the same Jesus Christ who called Lazarus from the grave has already called Ron from death to life when he placed his trust in Jesus Christ. Ron knows a heavenly joy beyond measure, and he too, along with all the saints, shall be raised imperishable when Jesus comes again.
So to Ron’s family and friends gathered here in his memory, take heart and be comforted. Ron has seen his Savior face to face. Although a chapter in your lives has come to an end and you will miss him, a glorious and never-ending chapter in his has only just begun.
Cherish your memories of Ron and pass them on to your children and to their children. But as you do so, don’t forget to tell them, Ron Flores was a justified sinner, who knew that his only hope of heaven was in Jesus Christ’s death for his sins and in Christ’s resurrection from the dead.
Anyone who knew Ron already knows what he wanted done at his funeral. Ron wanted nothing more than for all his friends and family to trust in Christ, as he had done. And on a day like today, we clearly see why that matters so very, very, much. For if Christ was not raised from the dead, then the words from Hallmark are all we have. But if Christ was raised from the dead, and he was, then we have the sure and certain hope of the resurrection. And that is what Ron wanted you to believe.
So, with Easter coming soon, I think it appropriate to close with those words of triumph Christians affirm of Jesus at the beginning of every Easter service: He is Risen! He is Risen indeed!
That triumphant cry is why we leave here today comforted in the midst of sorrow. Our hope is in Jesus Christ–the Risen Savior–who not only shed tears of grief at the death of his friend, but who has conquered death and the grave for us in his own death and resurrection. Jesus lives and reigns and so shall all those who trust in him. This is our only comfort in life and in death.